One day
They reached into my throat
with an old lab coat on
all the way down to my toes
They scooped me out
(not much there anyway)
until I was hollow
glass bones
paper fingernails
blood like syrup
They said I looked Fine
My tongue was too thick
and fragile to respond
with an adequate
“But I’m not”
They looked at me
and believed themselves
They didn’t realize they had
dislodged the door to my screams
keeping them in nice and tight
folded unto themselves
in my labia
The screams so loud
and deep and shrill
They went deaf
They went deaf so quickly
They were still smiling at me
unaware they could no
longer hear me and
my protests
“But I’m not Fine
I’ve been scooped out since
before you put your hand
down my throat
But I could not open
the doors to my screams alone
so thank you
I can only hope someone
hears the echos
following them to the source
just to say to me
‘I know you’re not Fine
I know you’re drowing
in the tears you won’t shed
in all the times you’ve wanted
your heart to give up
in all the blood vessels that swear
that you’re worth it
in the logic that
you’re worth living your own life
in the feeling that you’re
not
And the water and oil
of these trying to follow
the same paths to you ventricles'”
They’re still smiling
still deaf
I am still numb
Ringing as a lone bell
calling lost souls to a merciful
hell
Colochos de Flores 